The most important way to evaluate if a person is a good friend is to consider whether or not they make you a better person. If your answer is no, then you probably shouldn’t invest in a ton of 1-on-1 time with that friend invite them to a fun group outing but don’t dedicate yourself to people who don’t make you better in some way in life.
Does your friend listen to you and truly hear you? Do they give you plenty of time to speak and actually go out of their way to contribute to improving your problems or giving you sound advice? The greatest friends are the ones you know you could always talk to.
Does your friend think to include you on group outings with other people? Does she shoot you a text to join girls for drinks or dinner? Good friends always think “hmm I wonder if Mel is bored tonight, I should text her and see if she wants to join. I do this for a lot of my friends and I’ve come to find my favorite friends don’t care who the crowd is, they are just happy to be invited and would love to join.
You need friends who are cheerleaders for whatever your nerdy hobby is or your career path of choice. Don’t spend time with people who put down things you enjoy.
A Positive Attitude
I am not huge on reading people’s energy but one thing I can always sense is negativity. No one enjoys the person who is always calling out the flaws in situations. Best friends make anything fun! If your car broke down in the middle of no where, would they be the passenger to start laughing and problem solving or would they say “Ut oh, this sucks”? Give me 10 of the gigglers and 0 of the suckers, please.
I think it’s important to have friends that push you out of your comfort zone and get you to try new things. They are the friends you will make tons of memories with that you will reminisce on 40 years from now. Not every friend has to be adventurous, and there is a difference between adventurous and wild, but I think this is a great quality to look for in a friend.
Being a consistent friend means you are not flakey, you don’t have an on-again off-again friendship. This friend will always answer your call when you need them and they will be the person you could go months without seeing but things would pick up right where they left off. Long term friendships have a huge impact on your health and happiness so you should seek friends with this quality.
Playful friends will give you the belly laughs when you are together. This doesn’t mean they are funny or loud, it means they are willing to be their true selves around you. This is the friend you feel like you’re a kid again when you’re around. You will always leave them feeling better than when you arrived.
A kind friend will want to help pick you up when you are down. They will stay up late with you the night before an exam or call you after an important doctors appointment. Kind friends are the ones who ask how your family is doing, they send you reminders that they are grateful for you and they can always find a nice thing to say about other people.
I am really really lucky to have found amazing friends through out my life. I’ve also gone through phases of my life where I feel like it’s hard to find people with these qualities. The good news is, once you have friends like this, they rarely leave. Let you’re friends know that you appreciate these qualities in them.